Remembering the Lost
by pandorabox82
Summary: Erin arranges a special Father's Day surprise for Dave, but when tragedy unexpectedly touches their lives, she relies on the BAU to help them remember everything they lost. Part 9 of the the Christmas in Maine series.


Erin got up early that Sunday, wanting to treat her husband to breakfast in bed. It had been just three weeks since they had been at his father's graveside, and he was still smarting from the experience. She only hoped he liked the gift she had gotten him.

The idea had begun fermenting in her mind when she noticed that Mudgie was slowing down, not as active as he had been in January, when she had moved in with Dave. And since she couldn't bear him a child, she had thought this the next best thing. And so, she had researched what dogs would work well with their lifestyle and with what her heart wanted. They had the space for a dog that large, what with the cabin he owned, with all that acreage.

Smiling, she tiptoed downstairs and whipped up a quick breakfast of bacon, scrambled eggs and toast. Bringing it up on a tray, she toed open their door and sat down at his side. "Wake up, Dave."

She watched his eyes open, and she bent down to kiss him, nearly upending the tray. "You made me breakfast in bed."

"Of course. It's your special day. Remember, you started claiming my kids as yours?" He nodded and took the tray so that she could go over to her side and climb in. Nestling in close to him, she ate, breathing in the comforting scent of him. "I do have a gift for you, but it has to wait until after we eat."

"What in the world could you have gotten me? It's not like I need anything."

"No, but we needed this." He looked at her in surprise and she just shrugged, taking a bite out of her slice of toast.

"Now you have me intrigued, my sweet English rose. What could we both possibly need?"

"Something to fill our empty nest."

"Well, I know you didn't adopt a child, that takes a little bit of time, and I would need to be present as well, what with all the legal documents." His eyes lit up a little, seemingly coming upon an answer. "We have a new puppy, don't we?"

She nodded and he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "Mudgie isn't getting any younger, and so I thought a companion for him would do some good. It's going to be hard to say goodbye."

"He's had a good life, though; I've had him for fourteen years. That's a long time for a larger breed like him." She nodded and they finished up. He threw on a robe over his pajamas and followed her downstairs, carrying the tray of dirty dishes. Together, they filled the dishwasher and started it before she led him into the living room. The puppy was still sleeping in her basket, though her bow was off and chewed on. Picking her up, she went over to the couch and sat down, setting her on her lap.

"This is Fiona. She's an Irish Wolfhound."

"And she's enormous already! How old is she?"

"About four months. She'll be the size of a small pony when she's finished growing."

"And how are we going to transport her to the vet when she gets older?"

"Easy, in your truck. I measured the bed space and she'll fit perfectly fine. And isn't she adorable? I've always wanted a large dog like this, ever since I was a little girl. And now that we have the time and space to raise a dog like her, I went for it. You do like her, don't you?"

She felt her throat begin to clog with tears and she petted Fiona absently, hating that they were fighting over her present for him. "Erin…"

He reached out for her, and Fiona growled lowly. Instantly, the hand was retracted and she gasped, enfolding the puppy in a tighter hug. "I guess I can return her to the breeder," she quietly said, letting the tears fall down her face. "I should have asked what kind of dog you would like before I did this. I'm sorry."

Her sobs choked out her words and she bent over Fiona, her heart breaking into a million little pieces as this dream evaporated before her eyes. "Oh my lovely one, come here." She shook her head, eager to wallow in her sorrow for a while longer.

"I just need time to say goodbye," she whispered. "And then we can take her back and go pick out something you like."

"Erin Rossi, you are such a stubborn, bull-headed, woman at times." She looked up at him, feeling her lower lip pout out. "And yet I love you so very much. I'm sorry I hurt you. Will you let me hold you now?"

Dave opened his arms and she carefully adjusted them so that she rested against his chest. She couldn't seem to stop crying and she rubbed her face in his chest, breathing in his scent, letting it calm her. She relished the feel of his hand brushing through her hair and slowly, her crying lessened and stopped. "I guess I can be quite the fool, huh?"

"No, I reacted badly. You bought us something that we can love and raise together, and I tried to throw that back in your face. She's a gorgeous color."

"Isn't she, though? I didn't think white would go well, since we'll be taking her to the cabin a lot. I'm not up for constant bathing, let me tell you, especially if she's going to come up to my waist when she's fully grown."

"I thought you were joking about the pony thing."

"No, I'm not. The largest recorded dog in this breed was over seven feet tall when standing on his hind legs. Thankfully, bitches don't get that large. And I wanted a dog that would intimidate people when I'm here alone."

He kissed her forehead and reached down to pet Fiona. This time, the pup let him and even nuzzled into his hand. "I didn't realize you worried about that sort of thing. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it still seems silly to say. I'm a trained FBI agent, I know how to shoot a gun, and yet here I am, jumping at my shadow since…"

He gripped her shoulder tightly. "Since what?"

"Last week, while you were in Minnesota, I kept hearing someone try the doors here. Mudgie growled and the rattling stopped, but it spooked me. Your publisher hasn't mentioned you getting any crazy fan letters lately, has she?"

"Not that I know of. That's it, I'm going to get Anderson to shadow you when you're home alone. I do not want you to be alone."

"That's why I got Fiona. She and Mudgie will protect me. And I have my gun. It just unnerved me, you know? Now that Emily is gone to London, you're a member down and need to focus on getting your work done. Please do not give me a bodyguard."

He just stared at her and she knew it was a losing battle. "Erin."

"One more trip. If anything hinky happens while you're away next time, I will consent to having a bodyguard until Fiona grows up and is trained. All right?"

"Fine, I suppose. But you call me the instant that anything weird happens, okay?" She nodded and snuggled into him. "Now, why did you name her Fiona?"

"I adore Fiona Shaw's body of work. Did you know I got to see her in _Medea_ back in 2002? She was utterly amazing in the title role. I waited outside the stage door and got to meet her and the director. We should do that sometime soon; take in a show on Broadway." She pulled away from him to see what he thought.

"We could make a weekend of it. We'll have to get Morgan to watch the dogs, though." He grinned and she leaned up for a kiss. "Now, let me see Fiona." They sat back and Erin handed the puppy over. Dave scratched between her ears and the puppy lolled her tongue out, arching her head up into the hand that was being kind. "Did you get her a bed and bowls?"

"Yes, David." She rolled her eyes as she sat up. "Now, we should probably take her outside, she hasn't been out since I got up this morning."

He nodded and handed Fiona to her. She set her down and dug through the basket to find the bright purple leash. "I'll go get Mudgie." She smiled and led Fiona to the back door, taking her out into the yard. As Erin watched, the puppy sniffed around the grass, sneezing as a blade of grass tickled her nose. "Erin!"

She whipped her head around at the heartbroken panic in his voice. "David?" she called out as she rushed back into the house, tugging Fiona behind her. "Where are you?"

"In the pantry."

She dropped the leash as she ran for him, pushing open the pantry door carefully. "Honey?"

"He's gone," he whispered, and she finally saw him on the floor, cradling Mudgie close to his breast. Tears streamed down his face as he rocked the dog back and forth. She dropped to the ground next to him, wrapping her arm around his waist as she rested her head on his arm. As they sat, Fiona came and joined them, placing her huge paws on Erin's thighs as she sniffed the other dog's body.

"I'm so sorry, mo chroi," she whispered, kissing his head. He turned and leaned into her, seeking comfort that she knew he would receive. "Here, let me hold him while you go up and change. You wanted to bury him beneath the willow at the cabin, right?" He nodded. "Then we'll head there this morning and do it right."

"Thank you, my sweet English rose." He kissed her quickly before handing over Mudgie and standing. When he had disappeared, she gave herself over to her own tears, gently petting the soft chocolate colored fur. When Dave came back, he took him from her arms and carried him out of the room. While he was gone, she got up and pulled out her cell phone.

"Penny, would you mind calling the others together and ask if they could meet us at the cabin? It seems so silly, but Mudgie passed on sometime in the night, and Dave isn't handling it well."

"Are you?" her friend asked, sounding concerned.

"Not really, no. He was my dog, too, for six months. Do you think the others will come?"

"I know they will. We might not all be up until after eleven. I know Jayje was planning on making Will breakfast in bed. And I'm not sure what Hotch's plans are. Like he really matters, though, since he would be with Beth."

"No, call him, too. He's Dave's closest friend."

"All right, for you, I will." Erin heard her sigh. "As soon as I get there, I am so going to hug you. Did you introduce him to Fiona before you found Mudgie?"

"Yeah. What bad timing, though." Erin sighed herself. "I'll let you go now, we have to head up. Love you, kiddo."

"Love you, too."

They hung up and she grabbed hold of Fiona's leash, following after her husband. She didn't really care that the others would see her sans makeup and in yoga pants. All she cared about was comforting Dave. Stepping into flats, she went outside and found him standing at the back of the truck, staring down at Mudgie's body. "Are you ready?"

He looked up at her and pulled her into a tight hug. "No. But I knew this was coming. I just didn't expect it so soon." He kissed the side of her head and then released her. "Let's head out."

She picked up Fiona and got in the cab of the truck, setting the puppy on the seat as she buckled her belt. Once she was safely settled in, she pulled the puppy onto her lap and waited for Dave to start the vehicle. He reached over and held onto her hand for a brief moment before starting it up.

Fiona did not particularly like the drive, and she showed it by burrowing into Erin's chest, trying to hide from the world. As the drive continued, she became a little more used to it and began to look up and around. The cabin was a welcome sight and she perked up as it came into view. "Dave, I called Penny. She and the others are going to be here a little later on. I wanted you to be surrounded by friends today. I know when I'm not enough."

"Erin Rossi, you will always be more than enough for me," he said as he got out of the truck, coming around to her side to open the door. "But thank you for calling them." He took Fiona from her arms and set her on the ground. Fiona squatted and did her business on the lawn and they both smiled a little. "She held it the entire ride. She's going to be an amazing dog."

"I sort of knew that when I picked her out. She looked right at me, as if to say 'I'm going to be your dog' and I fell in love. She's going to be ours, you know, something that will bind us together." She kissed his cheek and took the leash from his hand. "Now, let's head inside."

Holding out her hand, she waited until he clasped it before making her way towards the door. He unlocked it and let them inside. Erin knelt and unclipped the leash, letting Fiona explore her new home away from home. "Erin, will you help me with the burial?"

"Certainly." She reached down to pet Fiona and then followed him outside. Fiona trailed at her heels, though, and she smiled gently. As she watched, Dave picked up Mudgie's body and they went down to the lakeside, by the giant willow that overlooked it. "I'll hold him while you get the shovel."

He nodded and moved over to the shed nearby. Erin settled herself on the ground beneath the tree, holding onto Mudgie tightly as she watched her husband. Fiona came up to her and sniffed at Mudgie before whimpering lowly. She reached out and petted her pup, tears falling down her cheeks as she waited for her Dave. He dug a deep grave for his dog, knowing that he would have to, what with the wild animals in the area. It was tough going and they heard another truck pull up. She turned her head and saw Penelope rushing down the hill towards them.

"Derek's right behind me, guys." She knelt next to Erin, wrapping her up in a tight hug. "Erin, we got here as soon as we could. The others are on their way, even Hotch and Jack." And then, Penelope kissed her cheek, rubbing the tears away with her thumb.

Fiona sniffed carefully at her friend before deeming her safe and they turned back to watch Dave and Derek finish digging the grave. When her husband had deemed it fitting enough for their dog, he came over and held out his arms. Carefully, she handed Mudgie over to him and then stood, going over to the edge. Penelope joined her, slinging her arm around her waist. Gently, Dave set the dog in the cold, dark, hole, and she lost it, beginning to cry. She turned into Penelope and held onto her tightly.

She felt other hands on her back, and recognized Dave instantly. She turned from her friend to her husband, letting him comfort her. "Let's head inside," she heard Derek say quietly and she made her way with Dave. They went into the den, and as soon as they were seated on the couch, Fiona jumped up and landed in her lap, spreading out her body over onto Dave's lap. Still, Erin could not bear to look at her friends and she turned her face into Dave's chest, welcoming the feel of his hand rubbing her arm.

"It's going to be all right, Erin," he whispered and she drew in a deep, shaky, breath. Finally, she looked around at Penelope and Derek, smiling tremulously. "Thank you both for coming so quickly. It does mean a lot to us."

Derek nodded as someone knocked on the door. "I'll get it," he said, getting to his feet and going to the door. Moments later, he returned with the rest of the team and Jack. The boy looked over at them shyly, staring at Fiona.

"You can come over and pet her, Jack," she said kindly, not bothering to see if Aaron would approve.

"Thank you, Mrs. Rossi." The fact that he knew her married name meant Aaron had explained things to him, and she felt her heart soften a little towards the man.

Glancing up, she saw Aaron quickly try to mask his gentle smile. Kneeling by his son's side, he also reached out and stroked Fiona's fur. "This is a gorgeous dog, Erin. You have good taste." Nodding, she rested her head on Dave's shoulder.

"I'm glad you came, Aaron." He nodded at her, almost encouraging her to continue a conversation with him. "How are things between you and Beth?"

"We're okay. She felt it better that she not come."

"She will always be welcome, Aaron." He looked at her in surprise, starting to say something in return. "For too long, I've let little things like petty squabbles get under my skin. Life is too short to not move on. And I've hit seven months sobriety, now things are a little clearer now than they were in February."

Dave gently curled his hand around her shoulder and she looked up at him. She shrugged slightly and he just smiled all the wider. "Yes, Aaron, she is more than welcome to be with us."

Penelope sighed happily, rubbing her growing baby bump. "Oh gosh, you guys, this is making my hormones go into overdrive. I know it's too much to ask, but it's almost like you've hugged and made up." She began to cry and Derek wrapped his arm around her, holding her close. Erin just shook her head, trying not to cry herself.

Someone's cell phone went off and Reid pulled it out of his pocket. "It's Emily, guys." He pressed a button on the screen and looked up. "You're on speaker phone, Em."

"Hey, who's there?"

"Everyone," Penelope fairly sang out. "How's Interpol?"

"A bit of a learning curve. I miss you guys, terribly."

"Oh, you're even starting to sound English. Are you going to have any free time to come back and see us soon?"

"Maybe around Christmas. But I really have to shadow Clyde for the next few months. This is almost worse than when I started at the BAU. At least there, I had a team to fall back on. I'm supposed to be running this place soon. I'm sorry I won't be there to see the little Morgan be born."

"It's all right, Em. You'll get to meet the sprog if you come home at Christmas. And you had better try you hardest to get here, okay?"

"Will do, PG. Listen, I have to go, I only wanted to check in and see how Spencer was doing. I have yet another boring meeting to sit through."

"All right, talk to you later." The rest of them said their goodbyes and Erin stood up.

"I have to run Fiona outside. Jack, would you like to come with me?" He nodded and she held out her hand for him. As they walked outside, he ran on ahead and twirled around. "Stay where I can see you, sweetheart," she called out, and he came back over to her side.

"Mrs. Rossi, why doesn't Beth like you? She and Dad had a fight before he came over here today."

"I've made some bad decisions in my life, and let alcohol get in the way of truly living. She lost a loved one to a drunk driver, and she lumps me in with people like that, since that was once my problem. She cannot see me, she just sees the alcohol."

"Well, she should take another look. You're really nice."

"Thank you, Jack." Fiona ran up to them and whined a little. Jack bent down to pet her and the puppy head-butted him, throwing him off balance to land on the ground. He giggled and she laughed, sitting down on the ground next to them. Fiona crawled up into her lap and Jack hugged her tightly.

"I hope we get to come here more often. I love Uncle Dave's cabin. If he's Uncle Dave, can I call you Aunt Erin?"

"You'll have to ask your father about that one, but I have no problems with it." She fell back onto the grass, staring up at the perfect blue sky. Jack joined her, looking at the clouds. "What do you see?"

"A castle." He pointed to the cloud he meant and she smiled. As they pointed out different cloud shapes, the others slowly joined them, making up elaborate fantasies of what they saw in the sky. Nestling into Dave, she sighed and looked over at him.

"This has been the perfect turning point of a day, Erin. Thank you." He kissed her forehead and she rested her hand on his chest, going back to looking into the sky for shapes. She didn't need a castle in the air to remind her that even while remembering the lost, she still had an amazing group of friends.


End file.
